Here's a brief synopsis. I will no longer be going to INDIA. (what.. I know Let me explain) I have not had a peace about it ever since I took the job, but I wasn't able to place where that unease was coming from. I thought it might be fear, or missing Huntington, camp, family etc. However, the more I thought about it, I've left all that before and didn't experience this kind of anxiety. Two nights ago my community held an intervention for me. A close friend felt really convicted to tell me some things and I'm so glad he did. They basically were picking up that I was dreading going and called me out on that. They questioned my feelings, fears and intentions. At the end they made sure that I knew I didn't have to go, I still had an option. I don't really think I knew that and was borderline depressed about the whole thing. I think I play devils advocate with myself. Saying I am sad to leave, but God calls us away from things we love. But what I wasn't seeing was that he gives us a peace that passes understanding. A peace I didn't have about India. A peace that floods my body now that I am staying. My biggest fear about not going was disappointing the people I had committed to. That's not a reason to go. On some level that people pleaser in me took the job in the first place. Everything went down too quickly and then was asked to make the final decision in a span of 4 hours. It was quick.
I gave into lies from the enemy that said I was inadequate as a missions major living in Huntington IN, that I was living a life of comfort, I felt that this job was perfect and I would excel (which I believe is still true) and that would make me relevant as a person. However,that is not true. Huntington is my missions field right now and I am not to be ashamed of that. I am doing missions right here right now, I don't have to get a stamp in my passport to become legit. I am just sorry that is took a toll on the MIssion agency for me to figure this out...So this is where I am... right here ..same as always feeling good about it...
So where does this leave me? I will remain at my community house living with 4 wonderful girls. I will remain an active member of the 509. I will remain at Pathfinders. I will remain a part of my camp. However, I will not remain crippled with fear of doing what He has called me to do , I will live for his name and live to decrease so that HE may increase.
Final plug.. Continue to pray for Rosedale Mennonite MIssions as some jerk left them high and dry and are in need of a team leader for India.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
The Plan
Well Folks, my life has changed significantly in the past couple of weeks. The plan three weeks ago was to continue living my life in Huntington and working at Pathfinders. However, one call from a friend changed it all. My friends Rachel and Austin work for Rosedale Mennonite Mission in Columbus, Ohio. They train groups to go out on short term missions for 9 months. As one of their team leaders dropped out Rachel called and ask me to consider applying. I told her I would think about it, secretly thinking I wouldn't think that hard. However, over the course of a week my attitude changed significantly.
A team leaders roles are similar to an RA position. Essentially it is the support for the whole team, in charge of discipleship all the way to budgeting. So after being offered the job and having an intense discussion of Jesus I decided to take the job. My decision essentially boiled down to God reminding me of all the times I sang in service "if you say go, I will Go" God called my bluff, and now I'm going to India
Time Line-
Aug 22 leave for Columbus. 22-29 will be leadership training and then from Aug 30 to Nov 20something Will be our team training also known as Discipleship Training School. During this time we will get to know each other as a team, volunteer various places around Columbus, get language and culture training, and sort out our baggage (both physically and emotionally)
Nov 20something to Nov 28 week off for thanksgiving
Nov 30 leave for Varanasi, India. The holy city of India
Over 17 percent of the world’s population lives in India on 2.4 percent of the world’s land surface. In India, over 600 million of its people live in deep poverty, and 300 million live below the means of daily survival. This team will be working alongside an established YWAM base. Outreach possibilities include teaching English as a second language, both rural and urban evangelism, prison ministries, leper ministry, friendship evangelism, and physical labor.The team is small because of the need to travel mostly by rickshaw (a cart pulled by a bicycle or scooter).
The Hindi people are glad to add Jesus in as one of their many deities but have great difficulty in accepting Him as the one and only true Savior.
South Asia is considered a closed country to Christianity. Therefore the team will have to use wisdom in how they share Christ and use caution in communication with people back home.
Aug 2011 arrive home!
So that is my one year plan. If you wish to be apart of it, I will try to keep you posted(literally) on my happenings throughout training and my time in India.
Some prayer requests- It was hard to make the decision to leave Huntington. Not only was I apart of something good in Huntington, I was experiencing true community and growth unlike any time in my life. This will be a hard to not be a part of. Things in my life were just starting to come together and now I'm leaving. I know God will use me in India and find other people to serve in the places where I'm leaving. I do know this, but just accepting it is where I need prayer.
Financially- I don't have to raise much support so that is a blessing, however I am having trouble with my Americorp end of the year stipend. I am leaving three weeks early,and although hours wise(due to tax season) I have completed all that I need to, I am three weeks short. I am not sure I will get any of the stipend which will be a great disappointment. Please pray that God will work this out, either by getting a prorated sum of it, or provision in another form.
That is all Folks
Here is a link to SEND ministries http://www.send-me.org/ if you want to check it out
A team leaders roles are similar to an RA position. Essentially it is the support for the whole team, in charge of discipleship all the way to budgeting. So after being offered the job and having an intense discussion of Jesus I decided to take the job. My decision essentially boiled down to God reminding me of all the times I sang in service "if you say go, I will Go" God called my bluff, and now I'm going to India
Time Line-
Aug 22 leave for Columbus. 22-29 will be leadership training and then from Aug 30 to Nov 20something Will be our team training also known as Discipleship Training School. During this time we will get to know each other as a team, volunteer various places around Columbus, get language and culture training, and sort out our baggage (both physically and emotionally)
Nov 20something to Nov 28 week off for thanksgiving
Nov 30 leave for Varanasi, India. The holy city of India
Over 17 percent of the world’s population lives in India on 2.4 percent of the world’s land surface. In India, over 600 million of its people live in deep poverty, and 300 million live below the means of daily survival. This team will be working alongside an established YWAM base. Outreach possibilities include teaching English as a second language, both rural and urban evangelism, prison ministries, leper ministry, friendship evangelism, and physical labor.The team is small because of the need to travel mostly by rickshaw (a cart pulled by a bicycle or scooter).
The Hindi people are glad to add Jesus in as one of their many deities but have great difficulty in accepting Him as the one and only true Savior.
South Asia is considered a closed country to Christianity. Therefore the team will have to use wisdom in how they share Christ and use caution in communication with people back home.
Aug 2011 arrive home!
So that is my one year plan. If you wish to be apart of it, I will try to keep you posted(literally) on my happenings throughout training and my time in India.
Some prayer requests- It was hard to make the decision to leave Huntington. Not only was I apart of something good in Huntington, I was experiencing true community and growth unlike any time in my life. This will be a hard to not be a part of. Things in my life were just starting to come together and now I'm leaving. I know God will use me in India and find other people to serve in the places where I'm leaving. I do know this, but just accepting it is where I need prayer.
Financially- I don't have to raise much support so that is a blessing, however I am having trouble with my Americorp end of the year stipend. I am leaving three weeks early,and although hours wise(due to tax season) I have completed all that I need to, I am three weeks short. I am not sure I will get any of the stipend which will be a great disappointment. Please pray that God will work this out, either by getting a prorated sum of it, or provision in another form.
That is all Folks
Here is a link to SEND ministries http://www.send-me.org/ if you want to check it out
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